Having a family bed can certainly do some damage to a couple’s sex life. If you are like many parents, you might still have children sleeping in the middle of your bed. Because so many parents are exhausted after a long day at work and after taking care of their children, they just want their children to go to sleep, wherever that may be. However, when your children sleep in your bed, it can make sex a big inconvenient. But, there are ways to get around the problem.
Be Creative With Your Sexual Playground
You certainly do not want to have sex in the room with your children, but odds are, you probably have other rooms in your house with doors that close. Once your child falls asleep, you and your partner can certainly leave the room, go to another room, and be creative with your sex life. There is nothing wrong with having sex in the kitchen or in the bathroom, or you could even have sex in your child’s bedroom, especially since he is not sleeping in there. You can have fun with your sex life, even if your child cannot fall asleep anywhere but your bed.
Figure Out What To Do with Your Child
Something else that you can do is start putting your five year old child in his own room. Your child might fight it, but if it helps make your marriage stronger, the fight is probably worth it. Your five-year old is old enough to fall asleep on his own, so it is probably time to get your child out of the big people bed and into his own room. This might be difficult to do, so you will have to use your creativity and parenting skills.
Offer An Incentive Program
If you are trying to get your older child into his own bed at night, you can certainly use techniques like incentives. Many children in preschool and early elementary respond well to incentive programs, as long as the incentive is delivered quickly. Having a chart that records nights that you child sleeps in his or her own bed is a good place to start. Then, you will need to decide what the reward is at the end of the week or the month or even each morning. Maybe you reward your child with something special for her bedroom, like a new stuffed animal or a new blanket. Maybe you take your child someplace special after a week of sleeping in her own bed. Whatever you decide, you should decide with your child, because children perform better when they have a say in the reward.
Be a Couple and Work Together
It is important that both parents are involved in the bedroom shift. As many adults know, it is challenging to make a change in habit and bedtime habits can really be challenging to change. If you are working hard to get your child to sleep in her own bedroom, but your spouse lets your child nap in your bed, then you will continue to fight an uphill battle. The sleeping arrangements need to be all or nothing, because once you allow your child back into your bed for any reason, you will need to start over at stage one again.
Consider Your Child’s Needs
In our society today, many people frown upon the idea of children sleeping in their parents’ bed. However, many cultures actually support family beds. Many children need that extra comfort at night, just because of their temperament. They see that their parents share a bed, so why can’t they? Children do not understand why mommy and daddy get to share that big bed, but they have to be all by themselves in a dark and scary room. Some children enjoy being alone in their rooms, but some children do not. It is appropriate to nurture children in the way that suits them the best and your child will not be sleeping with you when he is older, because he will want his privacy soon enough.
Do What is Best For Your Family
If you still have a child who is preschool or elementary school sleeping in your bed and it is conflicting with your sex life, you will need to decide as a couple what exactly you will need to do about it. You can look at it as a problem or you can look at it as an invitation to be more creative together. It is important to not only take care of your spouse, but to care for your children, too and to meet their needs the best way that you can. Your family dynamics will certainly help you figure out exactly what you will need to do with your spouse and your child.
