Dear Sinnue, How Do I Get A Girl?
“How do I get a girl” is a question we’ve been asked a lot lately. First, let’s clarify what “get a girl” means. We’re assuming by “getting a girl” you’re implying a lifelong happy relationship, because that’s what we’re all after right?
In any case, regardless of your intentions or commitment, there are several factors when it comes to “getting a girl.” Once you have one, it’s up to you to keep her. Let’s look at how to get her first.
What do you want in a girl?
If someone was to send you on a scavenger hunt and tell you to bring back a “goopoolaga” you wouldn’t be able to because you would have no idea what you’re looking for, right? The same goes for getting a girl, you can’t find one until you know what you’re looking for.
You’ll often hear that opposites attract, however, you do have to have SOME middle ground. It’s easier to find someone that is into the same types of things you are. So before you go try and get a girl, make a list of 5-10 things you’d really like to see in a girl. Seriously, write them down now.
Ok, so you made your list of the qualities you’re looking for in a girl and you’re ready to go find her right? Wrong. Look back at your list, and listen to this one piece of advice if you take nothing else from this…..that is to remember….
THIS LIST IS A GUIDELINE NOT A LAW!
Too often we miss out on a good partner simply because we have an unrealistic expectation that “the perfect girl” has 100% great qualities with no flaws. We’re looking for a combination of Martha Stewart in the Kitchen, A Victoria Secret Supermodel in looks, and Mother Teresa in terms of caring.
Just like you have flaws, so will she. Remember that. However, knowing what you’re looking for will help you weed through the ones that you’re NOT looking for, because after all, half of knowing what you want in life is knowing what you don’t want.
Where to meet a girl
Now that you know what you’re looking for, let’s figure out where. Now obviously, you could find “anywhere” but let’s look at a few places that are statistically more helpful in meeting girls than by just walking down Main Street with a sign on your neck that says “looking for a girl.”
Through Friends and Family
Let’s face it, your friends know you. Your family knows you. They know who you really are and what you really like. Scary isn’t it? That’s a good thing in this situation. Your friends and family want what’s best for you, and there’s a great chance they know people that you don’t know. The problem is, they might not know that you’re looking for a girl. A recent survey found that over 1/3 of married couples found each other through recommendations of friends and family.
Get out of your head the notion that asking your friends and family makes you a loser or lame. The best way to get an answer in life is to ask the question. Ask your friends who they think would be a good fit for you. In doing so, they might know the perfect person. It’s always easier to meet a girl when you’re introduced by someone that you both know. It not only makes less awkward, it gives the girl a sense of immediate trust because she‘ll assume the mutual friend isn’t trying to pair her up with someone that’s horrible for her. (Side note: Don’t BE HORRIBLE FOR HER)
Online
10 years ago we would have laughed at our own answer of “find a girl online,” but times have changed. Not only is it becoming more popular to find a girl online (25% of couples meet online), it actually gives you a chance to meet and know each other and establish a foundation. Not only that, it can eliminate the shyness you may have in meeting someone in person for the first time if you feel you already know them.
We mentioned earlier that it’s important to have common interests; fortunately, many social sites make that easier. Facebook has millions of groups you can join and look at members who share the same interests as you. Google Hangouts is becoming increasingly popular and lets you meet people and have large video chats with numerous people simultaneously. This is a good way of meeting new people and exchanging contact information for later. Most people put plenty of information on their social profiles. We don’t recommend stalking the girl, but by looking at a profile of someone you just met is a good way to look and see what common interests you have.
By talking online first, you can get a basic understanding of each other and see if it’s mutually worth your time and interest to meet up in real life.
Places of Interest
Are you into video games? Do you hang you enjoy the arcade? Are you a fitness guru who enjoys the gym? Or do you prefer a nice glass of wine and a good book on a bookstore patio?
Before you put that next quarter in the arcade, before you pick up that next set of dumbbells, or before you start that next chapter in your book, look around you. The people that are at the places you like to go to, probably have the same interests you do, after all, they are there too. Often times we get so focused on the activity we enjoy, that we fail to look at what’s going on around us.
Have you ever just walked through your neighborhood and truly looked at the detail of all the different houses or apartments? If you do, you’ll probably see things you’ve never really looked at such as the funny bumper stickers on your neighbor’s car, the beautiful rose garden down the street, or the architecture of the house down on the corner. Why did you not notice it before? Because you’ve become accustom to your routine…drive down the same street, to the same spot, and go home. The same thing happens when we frequent places we enjoy. We get into a routine and start zoning out what’s going on around us.
Change that up by going to your favorite spot and start people watching. You may notice there’s a girl at the arcade next to you that’s even better than you. You might find a girl in the yoga class at your local gym, often works out at the same time you do. You might see that girl “that you get books from” is really cute and is reading the same series you are.
In meeting girls at places you’re interested in, you already have a common ground or interest to talk about. This helps break the ice and give you an instant connection.
Extra Tips
You know what you’re looking for and you know places to find her. It’s up to you to go do it. You may be nervous, but remember, she probably is too. You see her across the room; guess what, she sees you too. If she smiles at you from across the room, approach her. If you see someone you find attractive, say hello. Hang around a door of a busy place and open the door for the cute girl entering the mall.
The most important thing is, HAVE FUN. Don’t get stressed. You’ll meet thousands of people in your lifetime. The more you meet the better. Don’t look at finding a girl as a chore; it’s not supposed to be stressful.
What do you do when you find a girl? Ask Sinnue!
