It’s no secret that men and women have very different sex drives. Men seem to be constantly thinking about sex (though it’s only once a day according to studies) and women think about sex only every couple days. It’s also no secret that stereotypically sex frequency diminishes after marriage. Many times this is due to childbirth, or simply boredom from being with the same partner for long periods of time.
There are ways to romance your wife and get her in the mood despite work and the kids wearing her out. The following tips should be considered in achieving this, and you should be aware that it could take patience to get the results desired, as it is widely accepted that woman are not easily and quickly stimulated like men.
Simplify
It seems everyone is so busy these days. It seems that we are all glued to our cellphones and computers, and even the television with the advent of the DVR. Put the work down for some time every night. Actually spend time together. Bonding will strengthen sexual desire since women are more emotionally driven than men. Also make sure to get a good night of sleep. Sounds simple enough but how many of us actually do it? We feel so groggy in the morning after a bad night of sleep, and that grogginess carries on throughout the day. Who feels sexy when they are groggy? No one.
Cuddle
Men are hunters by nature and thus tend to grope. Tune in Tokyo wasn’t fun in high school, and it’s not fun for your wife today. Caressing, cuddling. It helps get women in the mood because they are feeling that emotional tie to their partner. It makes your wife feel more loved and less like a sex object.
Back off
Perhaps it is counter intuitive, but give your wife some “me time”. When you both come home from a long day at work and the kids are running around, that’s not conducive to feeling sexy or in the mood. If you are really craving sex with your wife, try taking the kids out to play so she can take a bubble bath. Heck – perhaps even prepare that bubble bath and light some candles for her. That time she uses to recharge is time she can let go of the stress of the day and refocus on feeling good about herself. This also leads me to not being too pushy. If you are trying too hard it comes off as desperate, and that’s not an attractive quality in anyone.
Talk to her
While we just said to give us space, we also need you to listen. Marriage is a partnership after all, and wives need their husbands to understand where they are. How was work? How are the kids? On top of all that, this strengthens the emotional bond between you both, and since sex is usually more emotional for women, listening to her, making her feel appreciated and understood is a sure fire way to help get her in the mood.
Date Night
Now that you are talking to your wife and listening to her – you have an idea of what fun new activities she may want to try. Romance her. Take her out to that new restaurant. Bring home some flowers for no reason. Leave a love note for her so she knows she’s still special to you. You won’t need to try after that. She should come running to you because she desires you so much.
Housework
Surely she’s mentioned the dishwasher that you never empty or the dryer full of clothes you never think to unload and fold. Surprise your wife and do a chore! Women don’t always want to be working around the house doing what the little woman should be doing. They want their husbands to realize that it is hard work running the household and perhaps a little recognition could go a long way.
Massages
No need to spend money you don’t have going to a massage spa. Simply give each other a massage at home. Or better yet, just give your wife a massage. You can buy scented oils or just simply use the lotion you have around the house. Making her feel special and helping her unwind is a great way to get your wife in the mood.
Spicing things up
We’ve mentioned boredom. It happens. Months and months and years and years with the same partner. Just like the routine workout and 8am cup of coffee you share, you also can fall into a routine in the bedroom. Try integrating a vibrator into the bedroom, try using it in the family room or the kitchen. Simply moving into another room can spice things; it can get you to maybe try positions not possible on the bed.
With these tips you will be able to get your wife in the mood more easily. It’s all about connection and communication. Stop and take her needs into consideration for a moment before ambushing her because you’re in the mood.
